literature

Come back to me

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mendystar1's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

It hurts when I see a picture of you
because a picture isn't enough
it can't contain your beauty
not an ounce of what you're worth

Videos are better,
they show you living
breathing
laughing
the way you were

the way you stared at me
as you whispered our 'always'
how the quiet
never seemed so loud

how my heart hurt
every time I thought of you
I wish I can paint you,
the way you appear to me
so you can see your beauty
and all you're worth

If only I could bring the stars together
and spell your name
so everyone would know
how much you mean to me

To have you with me for one more day
To hear your voice
see the tears in your eyes
the way you were when you were alive
I would give anything
to have you in my arms again
I don't care if you're sick, I don't care if you're contagious. I would kiss you even if you were dead

Is this prose?
© 2012 - 2024 mendystar1
Comments2
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HeartlessBetrayal's avatar
I'm going to be astoundingly honest with you. Some of your stuff seems forced, coming out like you're out of ideas but feel you have to write. I find phrasing or flow or whatever can change this.

But this? It wasn't like that at all. Everything flowed at the right points, and cut off sharply, abruptly at the right points as well. Some of it was choppy, but it went along with the emotion of the poem, cutting you deep. I can feel your emotion welling inside me, or the emotion you were trying to create, and I feel like I'm going to cry. I could sit here for hours trying to analyze this poem. It seems so obvious and yet there's something deeper that needs to be uncovered, some deeper meaning that lurks behind the walls of your words. I just can't stop reading this poem. I feel like I'm going to cry, because this is spectacular. Well done.

And don't take what I said earlier as a bad thing. Not every single thing you write is going to be amazing, you know? Just keep writing, because you have amazing talent, and everything in this poem was spilling over with that talent. Thank you for giving me this to read <3 :)